Congress leader Mani Shankar Aiyar on Friday extended his intellectual insight on India’s performance in the ongoing Test series in Australia. Aiyar blamed Prime Minister Narendra Modi’s visit Down Under for India’s poor performance in the Test series.
Slamming Modi, Aiyar said, “India has been doing well only in the batting department and not in bowling. The team looks divided and I blame Modi solely for this divisiveness in the Indian team as he visited Down Under a few months ago and did some black magic in the Indian team’s dressing room. This team is no longer cricket-secular. Look at our bowlers! They are not in harmony with our batsmen. When Modi visited Australia a few months ago, I am sure he must have requested for batting-friendly pitches for the team, and hence our bowlers are suffering today, thanks to the cricket communalism by our country’s PM.”
Aiyar slammed our reporters when told no one would believe his claims. He backed up his comment with statistics in an attempt to sound logical.
He said the prime minister should have followed footsteps of various Congress PM’s who did not visit Australia since Rajiv Gandhi, and saving the Indian team’s blushes.
“At least the Indian teams have performed poorly in both batting and bowling departments since Rajiv visited Australia in 1986. So you can’t accuse him of polarising the team,” Aiyar explained.
When asked how the Indian team should perform in the upcoming world cup, also to be held in Australia, Aiyar said the Indian team should give other teams a chance and not to be too greedy. He suggested countries like Pakistan, Afghanistan, Bangladesh and UAE should be given a chance to win the coveted trophy as that would give the game of cricket a secular charm.
Aiyar said he is also not particularly happy with the name of the world cup. He suggested the trophy should be named after Rajiv Gandhi or Pandit Jawaharlal Nehru. He, however, had no reason for this suggestion. When asked for the reason, he plainly responded, “Or else I won’t watch the tournament.”
Please note: This is a satire – a work of pure fiction.