Arnab quits: Incredible smoke seen outside NDTV office, bursting of firecrackers suspected

An incredible smoke haze was seen by observers over the NDTV office on Tuesday which they claimed to be because of firecrackers.

One onlooker claimed he also heard loud firecrackers-like noise near the NDTV office area followed by fumes curling up to form a V-sign.

Experts say it will be difficult to ascertain what was the source of the emission. A leading pollution expert opined, “These days such peculiar fumes can be due to firecrackers during the Diwali season or because of pure human emotions giving rise to intense celebrations, revelry, etc.”

This incident, according to the onlooker, happened on Tuesday evening, minutes after the news of journalist Arnab Goswami quitting Times Now started surfacing.

The UnReal Times could not verify whether the two events were correlated as the onlooker tried to imply.

A few onlookers however insisted the fumes could be a smokescreen to hide some kind of celebrations inside the office. The UnReal Times could not even verify whether there was pun intended in this claim.

Similar incidents of smoke over other media houses were reported too.

Outside the CNN IBN office, one could see similar fumes rising, triggering alarm bells among onlookers. Again, firecrackers could have been behind the smoke, according to the observers.

Outside the India Today office, not only was smoke seen rising in the air but a grey-haired man was seen enthusiastically distributing sweets among strangers.

When asked, what was he celebrating the man replied, “Should we celebrate Diwali only during Diwali? Why not a day later? Does that mean we have become anti-national?”

When asked if the celebration had anything to do with the Arnab Goswami resignation, the man replied with a grin, “Shubhratri. Good night!”

Strangely, outside the Times Now office, no smoke was detected.


Arnab’s security guards take down noisy panellist on The Newshour

Arnab Goswami’s security personnel made an explosive start to their duty to protect the popular journalist as they took down one of the ‘The Newshour’ panellists, fearing a provocation from the loud participant.

A part of the Y category security cover to the journalist, the guard who leaped on the panellist was on the alert mode from the start of the prime-time show. Hiding right behind Arnab, the guard anticipated something would happen when the noisy panellist started yelling at the host.

“Mr. Kulkarni, please don’t yell at me! I can hear you…you’re sitting right next to me,” Arnab tried to pacify the panellist.

That was the first warning sign for Arnab’s personal security guard.

“Mr. Kulkarni, please don’t shout. I said, I am coming to you…”

“No, I am coming to you!” the security personnel behind Arnab cut him short before pouncing on the panellist.

As the noisy panellist was taken down by the feisty bodyguard, Arnab admonished him, “Please don’t behave this way with my guests. If you have a point to make, please get miked up.”

The security personnel didn’t stop there. There was another errant participant who tried to bully Arnab during the show using provocative language.

The Newshour host rebuked the panellist, asking him not to misbehave. But the participant wouldn’t budge.

“Remove the mike and leave the show now!” Arnab, losing his temper, finally told the participant.

Sensing that the multiple reprimands didn’t work on the panellist, the guard again swung into action, this time scooping the participant in his arms and escorting him out of the show.

Following the anchor like a shadow, 24×7, the security personnel have been on their toes from day one of their duty.

One day, hearing a lot of yelling from Arnab’s changing room, one of the personnel barged in, breaking the door.

Arnab, the lone person in the room, threw his hands up, “Hey dude, relax! I am just practising my lines for tonight’s show.”

It’s been observed that many panellists now prefer to attend Arnab’s show via video conferencing from their homes than visiting the studio as they fear they might be subjected to not just verbal assaults from the anchor, but also physical attacks by his guards in case they slip up.

Man learns to become a tyrant boss after watching Arnab vs Ashutosh fight

A diffident boss of an IT company successfully managed to become a tyrant manager after being inspired by the Arnab vs Ashutosh no-holds-barred fight on national television on Wednesday.

Rajesh, an employee of a multi-national software company, was till now frustrated that none of his subordinated cared two hoots for him and his presence in office.

“No one took me seriously so far. But after watching Arnab vs Ashutosh fight, I now know how to deal with the duds that are a part of my team,” Rajesh told his wife emphatically.

When asked by his wife how exactly he will tackle the difficult employees working under him, he snapped at her, “Who the hell are you to talk to me like this!”

“Don’t worry darling, that’s the start-line I have practiced with which I will begin a conversation in office,” Rajesh continued with a grin. “How’s that? Did you like it?”

When his wife tried to move on to some other conversation, Rajesh snapped at her again, “Shut up! Answer my question first. Don’t run away.”

Shocked by husband’s newly-found ‘voice’, she decided it was wise not to respond to a man inspired by the most stirring TV debate ever.

It remains to be seen whether Rajesh could become an aggressive boss but it is quite clear that he is now the second man in the country not scared of his wife.

(Amrut Thobbi is an editor by profession, satirist by heart and useless as a person. You can follow him at @amrutti on Twitter or Amrut Thobbi on Facebook)